The things teachers say...

Thanks anyway

When they've asked for a practical that doesn't work (usually one of the above 'I saw on the internet' !), or something at stupidly short notice and you've tried your best but had to tell them no. It just seems passive-aggressive, implying that it's your fault and they're disappointed in you, when actually it's all on them !
 
Can I have a piece of titanium ore and some titanium please?
Why?
It's in the curriculum.
OK, I'll have a look at the suppliers catalogues but I suspect they're unavailable.
But I really need them.
(Later...)
You can have titanium ore part-processed - how many 40ft containers do you want?
...and..
My other half works in aerospace but the titanium is weighed in and out of the building, so you can't have any.

(Later gives them a golf club with some titanium in)
 
Scenario 1

Teacher: Can you do me a favour? I know it's late but...
Me: Sorry can't do it, too busy.
Teacher: *Looks around a busy prep room with trays everywhere* Why, what have you got to do?

Scenario 2

*whilst wobbling with heavy equipment down the stairs*
Teacher: Hey could you (insert anything that they need)

Scenario 3

Teacher: Sorry this broke in the lesson
Me: How did it happen?
Teacher: No idea, it just happened
Me: The kids messing around maybe?
Teacher: No couldn't have been *bottom set year 9s famous for mayhem*

Scenario 4

Teacher: The practical didn't work
Me: Oh? I just tested it and worked fine?
Teacher: Don't know it just didn't work, did you trial it?
Me: *trials it in front of them and works perfectly*
Teacher: Oh I dunno maybe I did something wrong then...*faffs with paper pretending to be overwhelmed etc*

Scenario 5

Teacher: Something is wrong with the chemical, this group couldn't get the practical to work!
Me: Odd, the chemical all came from exactly the same batch
Teacher: Dunno, but it didn't work
Me: Maybe it's just that group that did something wrong?
Teacher: No, I was watching them.

Scenario 6

Teacher: Hey I know it's late but can I just have this, it's not much *proceeds to list a full scale practical*
Me: Are you sure you don't want a demo?
Teacher: Oh but it's only...

Scenario 7

Teacher: You are the best tech in the world! You always go out of the way for me. Don't know what I would do without you etc etc
*Gives everyone else a Christmas card except you*

Scenario 8

Teacher: *5 minutes before the practical* Hey so what do I do with this?
Me: What do you mean, you asked for it all
Teacher: Yeah I just cut and pasted it from the powerpoint...

Scenario 9

Teacher: Techs are always moaning
*Proceeds to moan about students/parents/SLMT/government/workload all the time*

Scenario 10

Me: Hey I have this really good practical which works better etc etc
Teacher: No, it's not what's in the book
*Blows up fireworks in the fume cupboard which is not in the book or syllabus*

Scenario 11

Teacher: *Bursts into the prep room looking for more splints/spatulas/pipettes etc*
Me: Oh I thought I gave you enough?
Teacher: Yes, but I got them to do the practical individually

Scenario 12

Teacher: Good morning, how are you? *really sweet, sucking up tone*
Me: I'm good thanks, what can I help you with?
Teacher: Nothing, I just wanted to see how you were as I haven't seen you in a while!
Me: Oh that's sweet, thanks.
*Teacher makes forced small talk for one minute*
Teacher: Oh... by the way for tomorrow...

Scenario 13

*bad class leaves an absolute mess at the end of the practical*
Teacher: Sorry they were absolutely awful, total chaos
Me: I hope you're not planning on doing a practical with them anytime soon for punishment?
Teacher: Absolutely!
*Orders practical for them next week*
Teacher: Sorry they were absolutely awful, total chaos
Me: I hope you're not planning on doing a practical with them anytime soon for punishment?
Teacher: Absolutely!
*Orders practical for them next week*

Scenario 14

Teacher: *Moans that a practical does not give very good results*
Me: I know but that's what you wanted
Teacher: That's because it's what's in the book
Me: Want me to find a better alternative?
Teacher: No it's fine, I got it out of the way now
*Next year*
Teacher: *Moans about the same practical which does not give very good results*
Me: I'm aware, but that's what you wanted
Teacher: That's because it's what's in the book
Me: Want me to find a better alternative?
Teacher: No it's fine, I got it out of the way now
 
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...that you hate.

I'll start.

When you have a moment.
I found this on the Internet.
I'll get it, just show me where it is...
Comes in mid lesson (flustered) and says...."can I have some (insert chemical or equipment)",
then proceeds to take it off a trolley set up for another lesson! Or takes the entire trolley!
 
Scenario 1

Teacher: Can you do me a favour? I know it's late but...
Me: Sorry can't do it, too busy.
Teacher: *Looks around a busy prep room with trays everywhere* Why, what have you got to do?

Scenario 2

*whilst wobbling with heavy equipment down the stairs*
Teacher: Hey could you (insert anything that they need)

Scenario 3

Teacher: Sorry this broke in the lesson
Me: How did it happen?
Teacher: No idea, it just happened
Me: The kids messing around maybe?
Teacher: No couldn't have been *bottom set year 9s famous for mayhem*

Scenario 4

Teacher: The practical didn't work
Me: Oh? I just tested it and worked fine?
Teacher: Don't know it just didn't work, did you trial it?
Me: *trials it in front of them and works perfectly*
Teacher: Oh I dunno maybe I did something wrong then...*faffs with paper pretending to be overwhelmed etc*

Scenario 5

Teacher: Something is wrong with the chemical, this group couldn't get the practical to work!
Me: Odd, the chemical all came from exactly the same batch
Teacher: Dunno, but it didn't work
Me: Maybe it's just that group that did something wrong?
Teacher: No, I was watching them.

Scenario 6

Teacher: Hey I know it's late but can I just have this, it's not much *proceeds to list a full scale practical*
Me: Are you sure you don't want a demo?
Teacher: Oh but it's only...

Scenario 7

Teacher: You are the best tech in the world! You always go out of the way for me. Don't know what I would do without you etc etc
*Gives everyone else a Christmas card except you*

Scenario 8

Teacher: *5 minutes before the practical* Hey so what do I do with this?
Me: What do you mean, you asked for it all
Teacher: Yeah I just cut and pasted it from the powerpoint...

Scenario 9

Teacher: Techs are always moaning
*Proceeds to moan about students/parents/SLMT/government/workload all the time*

Scenario 10

Me: Hey I have this really good practical which works better etc etc
Teacher: No, it's not what's in the book
*Blows up fireworks in the fume cupboard which is not in the book or syllabus*
Brilliant!
 
Went soooo out of my way for a certain teacher on numerous occasions with last minute requests etc. Asked her once if she would make a cake for my twin sons 21st birthday (just the one) She made amazing cakes but it was a big fat no, sorry but I'm ........... Told me a lie that I caught her out with later. Didn't let her know that I knew for the sake of work harmony :( Some people can be so disappointing not that I'm bitter or anything:laughing:
 
Comes in mid lesson (flustered) and says...."can I have some (insert chemical or equipment)",
then proceeds to take it off a trolley set up for another lesson! Or takes the entire trolley!

This reminds me of something that happened when I was in the 6th form (a long time ago!). I was doing 3 A-Level Sciences so spent most of my time in the Science Department and I knew the technicians quite well. On this particular day I was doing an individual project in the little 6th Form lab near the Prep Room and needed a stopclock. I entered the Prep Room (unlocked), there was no-one around so I helped myself to one from one of the trolleys.

I carried on with what I was doing for a while and all was quiet until I heard our Head of Science absolutely bawling his head off at the class next door. I wondered what they had done to upset him. Eventually it became clear he was accusing them of stealing a stopclock from their practical trolley! What's more, the technicians were adamant that there were 10 on the trolley at the start of the lesson!

I'm ashamed to say I didn't own up straight away - he was just so cross. Afterwards I did tell the technicians what I had done - they thought it was funny.
 
Just happened.
Teacher "Can you set pearls in air up for me period 2 on Monday?"
Me "Only if you can manage without the lights on for 10 mins during period 1"
Teacher "Errr could you set it up in Physics lab 4?"
Me "No there isnt any water supply in Physics lab 4"


.......
 
What I hate more than almost anything else:

*A few minutes into the lesson*
*Phone rings*

Teacher: "Can I have that practical/Where's the practical I ordered for this period?"
Me: "You didn't order one for this period I'm afraid."
Teacher: "I definitely did. Can you get it to me?"
Me: "I'll check the req sheet/lablogger."
*I check. Practical requested for wrong session*
Me: "Sorry, you booked it for the wrong session and there isn't one already set up."
*Teacher proceeds to attempt to gaslight me by trying to blame me for putting it in wrong - something that they can't get away with now thanks to lablogger*
Me: "You'll just have to be more careful when you book next time." *I hang up."

Note, that this is not most teachers. But one in particular will lie to my face, when I already know the truth, and it infuriates me.
 
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