Leaving speech

[Paul]

I'm amazed that you get to give a leaving speech tbh!

At one school everyone was winding me up (in a nice way) that I would be expected to give a speech, then when it came to it I wasn't asked to give o

I had to do one for my tech who left as I'm line manager.

 

[RichardYorke30]

Just going to play this

So long and thanks for all the fish - Hitchhiker's Guide (HD)​

 

[Prince Brainier]

Make 'em larf. Anecdotes of "mistakes" "howlers" etc. Then an honest appraisal of your time there?

Or the "Everyone I've met has been an absolute pleasure. Some when they arrive, and some when they go?"

Great insults for the "few" Mr/Mrs xxxxx. The worlds only living brain donor! A spherical git/ba**ard/bottom. WHich ever way you look at them they are that thing. "And the hard of thinking".

Do also mention the stars who have made you time there fun/bearable/great.

 

[The Geoff]

"Over the years, I've come to regard you all as people I met."

Classic Rimmer

"Remember, hot glass looks identical to cool glass, high voltage mains will not only kill you, but it'll hurt the whole time you're dying, and try not to look into the laser with your remaining eye.

 

[St Caths Crew]

One of the tech team left last year and did her speech in Zizzi's over pizza and a drink with the team.

Never done a leaving speech myself, never arose as an option (redundancy straight out the door and a college/team who didn't give a s**t)

 

[PreproomJim]

I heard about a guy who worked in a mine since he was a boy. When he was forced to retire he said in his speech 'I wouldn't have taken the job on if I'd known it wasn't permanent.'
Maybe say 'I know we had some chemistry together, but biologically I need to be physical and translate myself to a new positon. Those I liked I will miss, and those I didn't like I have already missed when I threw something.'
Not good at speeches myself so it's either that or Bilbo Baggins' farewell speech?

 

[karen b]

Or Dumbledore “I would like to say a few words. And here they are: nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you”

 

[Puds]

Depending on my mood on the day - It will be 'so long and thanks for all the fish' or I'll rip into how things (don't) work and certain staff....

I was literally on here to say same song!
Or I think I suggested to someone the wartime song, " Goodbyee, Goodbyee, wipe a tear baby dear from you eyeee. Though it's hard to part I know. I'll be tickled to death to go..."
I think I'll say, " I've liked you all. But working with you? Not so much"

 

[ljwest91]

This

 

[amateur alchemist]

I wouldn't turn up to it - though I would probably do Mr Bilbo's leaving speech if I had to- and disappear if I manage to get hold of the 'one ring'.

 

[Violet*]

best leaving speech I ever heard was given by a lovely man in a tweed jacket delivered with his slight greek accent it was magical, informative and hilarious.....known as the Bullshit speech nobody expected it and I actually woke up and listened... if he'd said come on lets go at that moment I probably would have gone.

 

[Puds]

This

I'm nicking this. Parts of it especially

 

[ljwest91]

I'm nicking this. Parts of it especially

Just replace 'Drama department' with 'Science Department' and its all good

 

[Puds]

Just replace 'Drama department' with 'Science Department' and its all good

They're all 'Drama' departments aren't they?

 

[Emil Tac 2]

They're all 'Drama' departments aren't they?

Except Maths who tend to be as exciting as a right angled triangle.

 

[ljwest91]

They're all 'Drama' departments aren't they?

With some of the teachers I work with, definitley a yes

 

[Peter Dale]

I would say 'Sulfur, Uranium, Carbon, Potassium, <leave a pause>, Iodine, Titanium' and then leave while dabbing.

Who am I kidding? I'm never leaving...