Leaving speech

Make 'em larf. Anecdotes of "mistakes" "howlers" etc. Then an honest appraisal of your time there?

Or the "Everyone I've met has been an absolute pleasure. Some when they arrive, and some when they go?"

Great insults for the "few" Mr/Mrs xxxxx. The worlds only living brain donor! A spherical git/ba**ard/bottom. WHich ever way you look at them they are that thing. "And the hard of thinking".

Do also mention the stars who have made you time there fun/bearable/great.
 
One of the tech team left last year and did her speech in Zizzi's over pizza and a drink with the team.

Never done a leaving speech myself, never arose as an option (redundancy straight out the door and a college/team who didn't give a s**t)
 
I heard about a guy who worked in a mine since he was a boy. When he was forced to retire he said in his speech 'I wouldn't have taken the job on if I'd known it wasn't permanent.'
Maybe say 'I know we had some chemistry together, but biologically I need to be physical and translate myself to a new positon. Those I liked I will miss, and those I didn't like I have already missed when I threw something.'
Not good at speeches myself so it's either that or Bilbo Baggins' farewell speech?
 
Depending on my mood on the day - It will be 'so long and thanks for all the fish' or I'll rip into how things (don't) work and certain staff....
I was literally on here to say same song!
Or I think I suggested to someone the wartime song, " Goodbyee, Goodbyee, wipe a tear baby dear from you eyeee. Though it's hard to part I know. I'll be tickled to death to go..."
I think I'll say, " I've liked you all. But working with you? Not so much"
 
best leaving speech I ever heard was given by a lovely man in a tweed jacket delivered with his slight greek accent it was magical, informative and hilarious.....known as the Bullshit speech nobody expected it and I actually woke up and listened... if he'd said come on lets go at that moment I probably would have gone.
 
I would say 'Sulfur, Uranium, Carbon, Potassium, <leave a pause>, Iodine, Titanium' and then leave while dabbing.

Who am I kidding? I'm never leaving...
 
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